Ain't This Some Sh*t

It's taking everything in me to create this post. Cause your girl isn't in the mood. In fact, she hasn't been in the mood for the past few months.

While listening to an episode of Perfete Podcast, the guest, Ozzy Etomi, mentioned how when in a slump creatives wait for that inspiration; that fire to jump start their juices again. But it's a trap! Because what if that inspiration never comes when pressed? What if that fire never lights up in the allotted time frame? Then a day turns into a week into months into years of not creating anything. She suggested it's best to work through the slump. This really hit me because I've been waiting for my inspired moment to help me break outta this rut. There have been some glimmers of hope but for the most part, I'm still waiting.

So while I wait, here's me attempting to break through the slump.

Slip Dress + Kimono
Let's Try This Again

This has been my most inconsistent year of blogging, like, ever. Interestingly enough, this is happening a year before my 10th anniversary of this blog. Because, of course. I was entering 2019 with so much hope and promise, coming off a fantastic second half of 2018. And what happened? I got my ass kicked. Was this meant to be a test of some sorts? Who the fuck knows. What I do know is that I've slacked off woefully. And what brought about the inconsistency? Well, my personal life wasn't any better. And since I was dealing with personal shit, I just didn't have time for other shit that actually brings me joy like blogging and watching TV and listening to music and reading and attending events and checking out the latest art exhibition. I mean, don't get me wrong, those things were done periodically. I just didn't do them enough.

It's hard to remain hopeful when just yesterday, as you're leaving your friend's house after a condolences visit (she lost her mom), you get a phone call from your sister saying that your godmother passed away that morning. So now you're rushing to another condolences visit on the same night. Life.

My sister's baby shower

My absolute favorite moment of 2019 was the birth of my nieces. My sister gifted me adorable twin girls and I couldn't be happier. They bring me joy. So much joy. But then your mind wanders to a memory of when in that same month, like literally 4 days later, you get an early morning phone call from your Dad that he's fallen and not able to get up. Then rushing quickly back home, barely dropping your luggage to sprint into the hospital as he awakens from his emergency hip replacement surgery. Surgery goes well, recovery mode has begun. On the last day of August, he's released from rehab and begins to get re-acclimated with his home only to receive a phone call that his mother-in-law, my grandmother, has died. Life.

My health began to suffer as well, between August and September. Usually I'm pretty blase about it but my Dad's fall and my grandmother's death were glaring signs for me to get my act together. And I have by going to my scheduled appointments, being vocal about my ailments and overall, just paying more attention to my body. Some glimmer of hope.

Wrap Me Up
A Spotty Life

December rolls around and it's time to head home to Nigeria, a country I haven't visited in 12 years. Oops. You tell yourself you're there to bury your grandmother, already anticipating the frustration and stress that comes when visiting Nigeria. Others are telling you to remember to have some fun. You land in the country and begin to await for some kind of nostalgic feeling that never comes. It literally becomes just another trip instead of a homecoming. Folks would run up to you exclaiming how excited they were to see you after so long. And your reaction was always, why? Until you quickly realize, hey, you haven't been back in 12 years. Truly, my siblings and friends were way more excited for me being in Nigeria than I was. With that being said, I did have lighter moments plus managed to visit Dubai thanks to a 21 hour layover. Life.

Oh and my relationship with God faltered a bit, too. It's amazing when God practically pleads with you to come to Him in time of need - and boy, was I in need this year - only to do the exact opposite. Gotta work on that.

Peg Pants
Long Live Leopard

It didn't feel right for me to jump into my usual blog recap and skip all of the aboveI went through a lot this year and it had to be acknowledged.

Alright. The fun stuff.
  • Rodarte exhibition at the NMWA
  • The Alex Speakeasy
  • Channeling my beauty blogger with ALMAY's Lip Vibes
  • I may not have visited Morocco with Brea this year but I did get to attend the preview of her Wear I Went: Morocco Travel Meetup event.
  • Got into the "spark joy" movement using Marie Kondo's Tidying Up techniques.
  • Best eye makeup for glasses wearers with Own Your Wonder.
  • Visit Fogo De Chao a number of times to preview their seasonal menus.
  • Attending Rebellecon was one of the smartest thing I've done this year. Such a fantastic conference!
  • Eloquii pulled off my favorite event of 2019 with their #MODELTHAT DC tour.
  • Compiled a list of my favorite DC thrift stores for plus sizes
  • Literally thrifted all day long on the Thrifting Bus Tour hosted by Thrifting Diva.
  • The final season of The Good Place is upon us and I'm not ready.
  • The final season of Game of Thrones was bad but I still stan. If you haven't watched, go watch.
  • Binged Mad Men.
  • I'm totally here for Schitt's Creek. Long live Moira and A Little Bit of Alexis!
  • The Boys is severely underrated. It's on Amazon Prime. 
  • Fleabag is worth the hype. Also on Amazon Prime.
  • Still can't get over the Fyre Festival fiasco. Documentaries on Netflix (recommend) and Hulu.
  • Carmelo Anthony is back in the NBA and all is right in the world.
  • Backstreet Boys are also back. I went to their concert over the summer; my sixth time seeing my Boys live.
  • Books I've read in 2019 - Influencer: Building Your Brand in the Age of Social Media; Becoming; Born a Crime (so bloody good!); Children of Blood and Bone.
  • Movies & Documentaries I watched - Always Be My Maybe; HOMECOMING: A film by Beyonce; Abducted in Plain Sight (craziest shit!); Marriage Story. Given that I knew Adam Driver would be a star since watching him on Girls, I'm happy for his success. But Scarlett was just too good in this movie; ROMA (didn't get the hype); Lorena; Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes.
  • Started When They See Us but couldn't get past the first episode when the cops started viciously interrogating random kids. Burned me all the way up. Instead, I watched clips here and there. My soul couldn't handle watching that kind of tragedy. Hopefully, I'll finish it one of these days.

There'll be no resolutions this year. My new year started on my birthday, remember? I'm just going to take each day as it is while forcing myself to make an effort to do things that I truly enjoy.

If you've read up to this point - amazing. You still enjoy reading blog posts. We may be in the minority but we still outchea! Thank you for riding with your girl through the inconsistency. I'll do my best to be more present in 2020.

Happy New Year!